


Torn

by Alltheshrinks



Series: Infidelity Verse [8]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Frottage, Gay Sex, Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:20:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26179408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alltheshrinks/pseuds/Alltheshrinks
Summary: Jensen thinks about another first and his wife has an announcement.Based loosely on Natalie Imbruglia’s Torn
Relationships: Jared Padalecki/Other(s), Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles/Others
Series: Infidelity Verse [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1886815
Comments: 30
Kudos: 31





	Torn

**Author's Note:**

> All of these verses are stand alone and can be read separately, though it is helpful to read the others. The only thing you need to know is that J2 are married to other people, but have had an on again, off again relationship for almost their entire adult life.
> 
> Comments make me insanely happy, I love engaging with all of you. Follow me over on Twitter @tltm78

Jensen is laying back against the back of J.T.s bed, the odd shape of the race car design digging into his back, his son snuggled into his side where he can see the pictures of the book that is perched open in the man's lap.

The young boy is beguiled by the story of Jack Rabbit, Mouse and Duck, and the lengths that the friends go to teach Duck, who has a fear of water, to swim. He turns to the last page, reading words that he knows by heart and then closes the book.

"Another one, Dad," Tyler says immediately and Jensen sighs.

Shaking his head, Jensen prepares for the oncoming battle. His son will be four in three days and the boy never wants to go to bed on time. "No, we talked about this. That was number five and you need to sleep." He wipes the longer strands of hair out of his son's eyes, it is still blonde but less so than it was when he was smaller.

"But I am not tired. Just one more? Please, Daddy?" Those iridescent green eyes look up at him and the boy unconsciously bats long eyelashes. Calling Jensen Daddy is the big guns, his son stopped using that name back in the summer and Jensen didn't know that it was going to hurt so much, it was only two letters.

"One more and that is it," the miniature version of him practically vibrates on the bed and he can't help the smile that pulls at the corners of his own mouth.

By the time he is pulling his son's bedroom door shut, Ella is carrying towels down the hall to put away in the bathroom, "Sucker," she says quietly and he laughs. He is such a pushover and he knows it. 

"I am not sure that Duck and His Friends is a good story to be reading him though, it is peer pressure and there is way too much of that happening these days," she says lightly as Jensen follows her into the bathroom and opens the closet door in the space so that she can put the towels away.

"My dad read that to me all the time," Jensen crosses his arms and leans against the door jamb of the room.

"All I am saying is that maybe you should have a talk with him about how Jack Rabbits and Ducks don't engage in advanced carpentry to forcefully teach their friends to swim." Ella raises both eyebrows into her hairline and looks up the several inches to his face.

Her husband rolls his eyes and nods, "Only if you have the sex talk with him."

"Oh no, that is not even close to a fair deal, I will talk to him about not bullying your friends to fit into stereotypes and social norms. You can talk to him about sex, you are better equipped to handle that conversation." She shuts the door and walks into his space.

"You're a nurse, I work for an insurance firm, how am I better equipped?" Jensen rubs the top of her arms as she presses against him.

"Because," she pats his cheek softly before rising up on her tiptoes to plant a kiss on his nose, "You have the same equipment."

Jensen lays in bed, Ella tucked into his side and remembers his dad talking to him once he hit puberty.

_"Jensen, there are a lot of things happening to your body right now that I know you don't understand. Girls are going to start to look different to you and you are going to start getting these urges and start feeling all of these things, but you can't give into them." His father's kind hazel eyes were the exact same shade as his._

_"Sir?" Jensen is slightly confused. He hasn't been feeling any different about the girls in his class than he does about his friends._

_"Fast women and sins of the flesh are agents of the devil and we, as men who walk the righteous path, must not give in to these temptations." His father's tone is not harsh, but Jensen already knows that any questions he has will be seen as sinful and so he just nods in acceptance. "Good boy," the aging minister pats his head like he is three and not thirteen._

Jensen gently creeps out of bed and walks out of the bedroom, careful to not disturb his sleeping wife. Down the hallway, he opens the door to his son's room and peeks in at the boy, who has his thumb in his mouth. Jensen doesn't want to even remember the lengths that his parents had gone to in order to break that habit. A couple of methods were bordering on abuse.

He pulls the door shut again and creeps down the stairs to his office and pours himself a drink. Jensen got over feeling guilty about alcohol years ago, if he is going to hell, one more log on the fire hardly matters. He sits down in his chair and opens up his phone. The silent prayer that he prays to God goes unanswered because he isn't strong enough not to open the Facebook app and type in Jared's name. He guesses he is all out of faith these days.

One of the pictures on Jared's Facebook page is a throwback photo of him with his brother standing in front of the Monte Carlo that Jared got from his brother when Jeff got a newer, more fuel-efficient one to drive to college.

_The windows are down, the wind whipping through them wars with the music blaring from the speakers that are popping with loud sounds from the volume turned to max. Jared is driving, his hair dangerously thrashing over his eyes as they speed along the deserted back road. Jensen has a hand out the passenger side window, letting the airflow pull his palm back before exerting enough resistance to keep the appendage perpendicular to his body._

_Jared hasn't had his license long, he just turned seventeen in the summer, but his brother got a new car, so this one was now his. It was huge, over a decade old, and drank gas like it was going out of style, but Jared was ecstatic._

_The leaves on all of the trees are turning from green to yellow and orange with the October chill, the next week or so will bring the reds mixing in._

_Their senior year has started out to be amazing, both of them are too small for football but love the sport and are always there to cheer their classmates on. Jensen has a fond appreciation for some of the cheerleaders, but some of the football players cause that same tingle in the pit of his stomach._

_Jared pulls the car off of the main road and down a gravel drive that takes them to a small pond set back in the trees of Texas hill country. They grab the fishing poles and cooler from the trunk and set their lounge chairs close to the water._

_It isn't long before Jared pulls out a Budweiser and hands it to his best friend. Jensen looks at the can and then up into Jared's face, but making no attempt to take it. "Where'd you get that?" He alm_ ost _sounds scandalized._

_"Jeff bought them for me, it is pretty cool having an older brother. Take it, it won't bite." Jared says and pushes the cold aluminum into the other boy's grasp. Jensen reluctantly takes it, unable to even_ _imagine Josh buying him a beer._

_"You know," Jensen says, cracking open the beverage and tentatively taking a sip, "This is every After School Special that I've seen."_

" _You are so gay," Jared rolls his eyes and gets his own beer out of the cooler and pops the tab._

" _You're gay," Is Jensen's rejoinder, smiling cheekily at the other boy._

_Jared wags his eyebrows, "I know."_

_Jensen wishes that he could be this okay with admitting that he wasn't quite straight, even if Jared is only comfortable saying it to him. They have been best friends since preschool and Jensen does not care which way the other boy swings. Hate the sin and love the sinner, isn't that how the saying goes? Of course, this is still the Bible Belt and the younger of the pair is not going out announcing it._

_The afternoon quickly fades into dusk, days getting shorter and nights getting colder, Jensen is beyond buzzed. He doesn't drink much and the beer sloshes around in his stomach like a tidal wave against the hull of a canoe. It is getting too cold to be outside in light jackets, but Jensen knows that he can't go home reeking of beer._

_Jared loads their belongings into the trunk, while the other boy leans up against the back fender of the car, his head tipped back, taking in all of the millions of twinkling lights that the light pollution of the city prevents them from seeing._

_Jared knows that he is bordering on sober, he drinks a lot more often than his friend does, plus, he is in the midst of a growth spurt. He must not be as sober as he thinks, because suddenly he is crowding in on the other boy, whose eyes are shining in the moonlight from more than just the alcohol._

_Jared is inches from Jensen's face, his breath warm and sweet from gummy worms and Bud Light, Jensen knows that he should move, but he is absolutely paralyzed by the fluttering in his stomach and lust in his veins._

_Jared slots their lower bodies together, trapping Jensen between him and the cold metal of the automobile and takes the older boy's face in his hands and then presses his lips against the plump ones of his best friend, that he has been wanting to kiss for months now._

_Jensen is too shocked at first to do anything, it doesn't really feel any different than the times that he kissed Molly McCarthy on the playground or Jessica Bowers two weeks ago under the bleachers. Jared takes his nonparticipation as reading the situation wrong and moves back. "I'm sorry, I thought..." he lets go of the other boy's face and starts to move back._

_Jensen doesn't know what does it; maybe it is the moonlight and the warmth of the alcohol and another body against him or maybe it is not being able to see that kicked puppy dog looks on his friend's face. Whatever it is, Jensen is suddenly grabbing Jared's own face in his palms and kisses him. Not the delicate little pecks and nips that he is normally used to, but devours Jared's mouth. Light stubble scrapes deliciously together from both of their fuzz covered chins and upper lips, J_ _ensen plunging his tongue far back into the younger boy's mouth, exploring the sharp edges of enamel and uneven ridges from Jared's pallet._

_Jared moans into his mouth and grinds his lower body right against Jensen's groin and feels the hard evidence of his companion's arousal. Jensen gasps and bucks again, chasing the heavenly friction that the action creates._

_Jared pulls back and Jensen is nearly mortified at what just transpired until the other boy is opening the car door and shoving him into the back seat. Jensen goes without argument, he is so hard and so light-headed that nothing else matters at this moment but Jared, who is crawling into the vehicle and pressing him back into the driver's side of the car. Jared kisses him again with a single-minded focus, carefully arranging their bodies into the confined space that they are way too big to be squeezed into._

_Jensen presses the heel of his hand down onto his aching length, he can never remember being his hard, not even when he played seven minutes in heaven with Holly Brown last summer at one of his buddy's parties; Holly Brown has the nicest rack of the entire student body._

_"Just let me..." Jared contorts himself until he is straddling Jensen's hips, one leg at an odd angle in the floorboard of the car, and the other folded up against the cold vinyl of the tuck and roll upholstery. He presses down again, grinding his own painfully hard dick along the hard line of the other boy's, which is straining against the inseam of his jeans._

_Jensen is panting into Jared's mouth, the heat from their bodies causing condensation to form on their skin and the glass of the windows. Goosebumps pebble the older boys flesh, his hair along the nape of his neck standing up, and he can feel his own nipples hardening against the fabric of his shirt as Jared rides his lap._

_Jensen tries to kiss Jared again, but there isn't enough space in the car, Jared is already bent up against the roof of the car, his neck and shoulders crimped in an unnatural way. The bump and drag of their clothed crotches are causing sparks to form behind the younger of the pair's eyes, but when Jensen finally takes ahold of the small, rounded curve of Jared's ass and forces it down against himself, Jared swears and then comes._

_Jensen either doesn't notice or doesn't have the brain function to react, because he is driving up against Jared still, sliding as quickly as space allows, until all of a sudden the damn inside him breaks; pleasure washes over him in waves, he has never felt anything like the sheer euphoria that is filling up every part of his body and leaving a warm and fuzzy feeling in its wake._

_Jared finally moves off of the top of Jensen after a couple of moments and maneuvers himself into the front seat of the car, opening the door and undoing his pants. "What are you doing?"_

_"I am not wearing the underwear home that I jizzed in," Jared throws his head back to look at the older boy, who suddenly looks very ill. Jensen guesses that he does have a good point, but in light of recent, very recent developments, he doesn't want to pull his pants off in front of his friend._

_"I've seen you naked, before," Jared rolls his eyes, there is just enough light from the interior of the car and moon to make it out._

_"I know, but..." Jensen can't think of a but though. He knows all about Jared's bisexual tendencies and has for a while. "Can you at least not stare at me?"_

_"Dude, we just had sex and you don't want me watching your scrawny ass get undressed?" Jared huffs out a breath and turns around in the seat, giving into Jensen's neurosis._

_After Jensen is dressed again and sitting in the front seat, his Levi's chafing slightly without a barrier between them, Jared starts the car. "We didn't, you know?" Jensen's voice is small and Jared almost_ doesn't catch what he says.

" _We didn't what? Do that? We most certainly did. But don't worry cupcake, I'm not Jonesing for a lynching." The car idles loudly and Jared switches on the defrost._

_"No, we did whatever that was, but it was not sex. We were fully clothed, nobody stuck any body parts in anyone else." Jensen doesn't meet his eyes but he doesn't have to know the other boy is gaping at him._

_While the windows slowly clear, he finally looks over at his best friend who is still staring with his eyes as wide a saucers. "Wow, you really believe that, don't you?" Jared isn't angry, he is just shocked and a little sad at the other boy's denial._

_"It's true," Jensen is not debating this issue. Not right now, not ever._

_Jared doesn't say anything, just puts the car in drive and turns the radio up to drown out the awkward silence._

Ella opens the door to the office and pulls him out of the memory, the screen on his phone has gone dark and she flips the light switch on. He looks up at her, squinting against the glare, "what are you doing down here in the dark?"

"I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to wake you. I was going to get some work done, but I guess I dozed off." Jensen isn't lying to his wife, he doesn't know if he was just remembering or if he actually was dreaming.

"Well come on back to bed," she takes ahold of his arm and pulls him out of the room.

"Is there something wrong?" El’s concerned voice breaks the silence of the room, her small head pillowed against his chest. "I feel like something is bothering you. You would tell me, right?"

Jensen squeezes his eyes closed and kissed the top of her head, "Of course I would, I'm just tired; work has been a lot and Tyler is a handful, but everything else is fine."

"Good, because I'm pregnant," she says it so innocuously like she just told him that they were having meatloaf for dinner.

Jensen feels himself stiffen against her, his body rejecting the words that tie him to her even stronger than his son does. The tears that prickle behind his eyes have to be from the shock that the news has elicited.

She turns in his arms, "You're upset?"

Jensen forces himself to smile, "No baby, I am not upset, I swear," he wipes his eyes on the back of his hand and pulls her tight against him. "I'm just surprised is all. It took us so long to have Ty, that’s all; I wasn't expecting it." He tries to tell himself that everything is going to be fine, but that is a lie.

She relaxes in his hold, "I wasn't really expecting it either, but God doesn't make mistakes."

Jensen closes his eyes, he is completely out of faith, in anyone. Maybe the God he knew doesn't make mistakes, but God clearly doesn't know him anymore.


End file.
